The Best Movie Critic   +  the woman

Mile High Horror Festival Cheat Sheet

The Mile High Horror Festival is all set to scare the pants off of Denver (ooh la la) this weekend. For only it’s second year in existence, the festival has pulled together an astonishingly awesome program of movies. And since you probably don’t obsessively troll the news and gossip coming out of other film festivals (guilty as charged) I’m here to help you sort out the merely awesome screenings from the truly can't-miss movies. Ain’t I a nice guy?

What follows are four movies playing the festival that you would be a fool to miss. And mama didn't raise you to be no fool, did she?

THE WOMAN When Frankenstein premiered in 1931, Universal Studios placed ambulances outside of the theater in case nerve-wrecked audience members needed to be rushed to the hospital. Paranormal Activity built its ad campaign around videos of audience members losing their shit. And now The Woman has this infamous video of an audience member getting kicked out of the movie's Sundance screening earlier this year after he stood up and started screaming about how the movie should be seized and burned:

And here's the trailer for the movie itself, about a family who finds a feral woman in the woods and decide that the best possible course of action is to chain her up in the basement to "civilize her." What could possibly go wrong?

THE HILLS HAVE EYES Dirty secret time: I've never seen The Hills Have Eyes. Not sure why exactly, because Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my favorite movies of all time, and this looks right up the same seedy alley. Some of my favorite festival screenings are repertoire screenings, so I am very excited for this. As an added bonus, chief cannibal creeper Michael Berryman (who you might also remember from The Devil's Rejects and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) will be in attendance, answering questions, signing autographs, gnawing on your tender flesh... ya know, festival stuff.

CHILLERAMA Chillerama is like the mashup of all mashups. It's an anthology in the tradition of Creepshow, Tales from the Crypt, and the Twilight Zone movie, but it's also one of those Grindhouse sendups that have gotten so popular with a certain crowd in the wake of Death Proof and Planet Terror. All I know is, "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein" is the greatest idea I have ever heard. Ever.

RABIES Touted as Israel's first ever horror movie, this one got mixed reviews out of Fantastic Fest, but those who loved it really went ape. So I'ma go out on a limb and check this out.

And folks, that is barely the tip of the pickaxe. Check out the Mile High Horror Festival website for the full schedule with dates and times, more features, shorts, special guests, and even a horror music night featuring performances from some of my buds in Kevin Costner Suicide Pact and Pythian Whispers.

-Ben