My name is Ben Martin and I am a movie trailer-aholic.
There I said it.
Oh sure, it started out innocently enough. What's the harm in perusing Apple.com's trailer page or making your friends get to the theater early and sit through 30 minutes of Coke commercials just so you don't miss the coming attractions? It's all good clean fun, right?
But then. Then I found out that YouTube held millions upon millions of wacko exploitation trailers in its bowels and I was lost forever. That's where the real sick twisted addiction started. A world of madness and obsession was knocking at my door. My will was weak. I opened the door. Now I spend most nights hunched over the glowing screen... watching... watching... Oh sure, the Videodrome and House of Wax trailers are good, but those are just gateway drugs. I'm talking about the hard shit. Man, you're not even in my world until you see the Skateboard: The Movie trailer.
And how does anyone expect me to quit when the highs just keep getting higher? I've seen the trailer for The Pirate Movie probably 700 times at this point, and it just keeps getting more hilarious every time I see it.
I've done 'em all. Swamp Girl, Dead Heat, Housewife AKA Bone, Old Dracula, TerrorVision, Ski Party, Dirt. But there's one fix that beats them all, every time. I don't know what the scientific name for it is, but on the street they call it “Stunt Rock.”
Man, I've spent more time watching that trailer than I have watching the Godfather movies.
But no. This is an EVIL addiction. I'll take my first step toward trailer sobriety this Friday when I plant my ass in the seat at the Watching Hour for the entire honest to god feature length film Stunt Rock, in all of its Stunt-y, Rock-y glory. It will be a long hard road, but I know I'll have all of your support as I battle this debilitating addiction.
One Aussiesploitation movie at a time... .
One Aussiesploitation movie at a time... .
Keep your eye on the prize, Ben!
-Ben