After being single-mindedly embraced by the entertainment establishment in the early 1990s, Sharon Stone has spent a majority of the last 15 years trying in vain to remain the star she became when the original Basic Instinct was released in 1992. Basic Instinct 2, sometimes subtitled “ Risk Addiction ”, was a movie she was contractually obligated to make, and one she tried for roughly a decade to get out of. She signed a contract after the first film shot her to mega-stardom that gave her script approval and her choice of leading man, and then systematically refused to approve of either throughout countless recastings and revisions.
She had a “pay-or-play” deal, meaning she got her check regardless of whether or not the film ever got made, so, like, why bother? The whole thing was eventually reduced to an out-of-court settlement stating that the movie had to be made within a year, or else she got her money. The studio cobbled together a script from the umpteen other scripts that Stone rejected, and allowed her to hand pick David Morrissey, an actor who up until then was (not) famous for working on British television and for being the poor man's Ewan McGregor. The result of all this legal wrangling is a two hour visual letter from Sharon Stone to the world, the full text of which, once deciphered, is “FUCK OFF AND DIE”.
“Yeah, yeah,” you’re saying, “this is all terribly interesting, but when are we gonna talk about boobs?”
The Sex Scenes: Basic Instinct was famous (or infamous, depending upon your perspective) for blurring the line between violence and sex, and pushing the American publics' taboos to their breaking points - Camp Hall of Famer Paul Verhoeven (director of inaugural Notes on Camp inductee Showgirls) made sure of that. BI2:RA takes up where the first left off, but for what? It's the 21st century, man - what're you gonna show me that I haven't already seen in gynecological detail on the Internet? What scandalized the denizens of 1992 can now be seen on basic cable five nights a week. Stone's breasts look about as real as the rest of her; which is to say: not at all. In one crucial scene, they float upon the surface of a hot tub filled with water so high they threaten to obscure her face.
The Plot: I dunno, something about murders happening? that could be closer to manslaughter? on account of Catherine Trammell’s fake sounding “Risk Addiction” disorder, in which she equates sex with mortal jeopardy? so the court says she has to go to therapy? and then she fucks her therapist, but everyone around him gets totally murdered, and there’s a lot of sex but at the same time not nearly enough, and at one point the therapist’s ex-wife gets her throat slit in the men’s room and he’s framed for the murder? and then in the end it turns out that it was the therapist who killed everyone after all, and he’s a looney-tunes? but not really because Catherine was setting him up all along? or something? There's also a tabloid photographer, and Charlotte Rampling (why has God forsaken thee?) as the therapist's mentor, and they are all inexplicably drawn into Catherine's web of sexual deceit. I’ve seen this movie more than I care to admit, and yet still have a difficult time determining exactly what is happening and why . The opening scene has Catherine driving at high speeds through deserted London streets, whilst getting fingered by a drugged out professional soccer player - the car crashes into the Thames, and the soccer player drowns. Catherine manages to escape, but the police suspect she may have killed the soccer player on purpose. When asked how she knew he was alive when the car hit the water she responds, poetically, "... he was makin' me come."
The Dialogue: The plot is needlessly complicated, but what it lacks in comprehension it makes up for in incredible dialogue. A sample monologue delivered by Stone-as-Catherine, for use in your next audition or acting class final exam:
“When you think about fucking me–and I know you do, how do you picture it, doctor? Do you want it straight up, you on top? Me on top? Do you want it from behind? On your knees? My face in the pillow? Do you want to beat me up? Just a little? Harder than that! What would you say if I told you that I fantasize about you when I masturbate? That I make myself come thinking about you making yourself come?”**
I have to go take a shower. If anyone ever said that to me I’d take out a goddamn restraining order, not invite her back to my flat for a round of coke-fueled S&M.
However, a million Camp points go to the screenwriter(s) for the line, “Even Oedipus didn’t see his mother coming.”
The Rest: Catherine Tramell went from being the preeminent femme fatale of the 20th century to a dirty-mouthed masochist about 20 years past her prime in 2006. There’s no allure to her any longer, because it’s all so “been there, fucked that”. She’s been around the block a few times, and makes absolutely no attempt at hiding it (no slut shaming from me though – who hasn’t been anonymously effed on the floor of a London warehouse orgy while their doughy court appointed therapist watched from the skylight?). Sharon Stone's willingness to do or say anything that makes the movie fun,but don't think about it too much or else it starts getting a little depressing.I might be wrong, but I think Stone knew what she was doing the whole time. Not cut out to start playing Katherine Heigl’s grandmother, she sued her way into making a movie that would be her last stand – a great big middle finger to the male hegemony of Hollywood that told her “baby, you’re gonna be a STAR!” back in 1992 but then couldn’t really make good on the promise. She picked the worst script and director she could find (Michael Caton-Jones, celebrated director of Doc Hollywood ) and went to town spending millions of MGM’s dollars on what she knew would be a total bomb. She chose a lead actor, David Morrissey, with whom she has about as much chemistry with as I do with an unopened bag of flour. Sure, there’s the humiliation of having to show her 50-something-year-old naked body to the world, but that’s nothing a little silicone and a lot of Botox can’t help. She looks fucking fantastic, even if she is 80% enhanced. What’s that they say about being a slave in heaven or a king in hell? Our girl Sharon decided to go with the latter -h er performance is one long “I don’t give a fuck” of a soliloquy to the career that could have been.
Take a long hard look, Megan Fox, for this is your future.
-Ryan
** The correct answers to those questions are: In the dark, straight up, no, no, no, and you shouldn’t tell me stuff like that.