Justin here with my new weekly column, Friday Five! Our 12 Day of Christmas Lists were so popular I thought I'd give you a little present to start your weekend with each week. Every Friday I will be presenting a short movie related list. Today it's:
The Top 5 Characters Played by Charles Bronson that I Wouldn't Mess With
5. Chato from Chato's Land
Chato is an Apache Indian who goes all Death Wish on a bunch of dumb cowboys for messing with his wife and his land. The movie is not great, but Bronson makes a good Apache. Watching him pick off the racist cow pokes one by one almost makes Chato's Land worth watching.
Primary threat: tomahawk
4. Joseph Wladislaw from The Dirty Dozen
Bronson was a spry 46 years old when The Dirty Dozen was filmed. He was also perhaps the only one of the dozen badass enough to stand shoulder to shoulder with Lee Marvin. His character hated authority so much that he routinely refused promotion. In this ensemble of badasses, Bronson was badass enough to be alive at the end of the movie.
Primary threat: Thompson Gun
3. Leo Kessler from 10 to Midnight
In this gem from your pals at The Cannon Group, Bronson hunts down a murderer who kills his victims while he is naked. He makes the mistake of calling Bronson's daughter and dirty talking her with a bad Spanish accent. Bronson in turn, stalks this stalker - hounding him every minute of the day and messing with him at work. In the end, Bronson shoots him so he won't get out of prison by taking an insanity plea.
Primary threat - too much time on Bronson's hands
2. Jack Murphy from Murphy's Law
Everyone knows that Murphy's Law is, "If anything can go wrong, it will." Jack Murphy's law on the other hand is "Don't fuck with Jack Murphy." When a crazed nut he put away years ago gets out on parole and starts taking revenge on the people who put her there, it's up to Jack Murphy and inexplicably a foul-mouthed snot-nosed teenage girl to put things right.
Primary threat - whiskey flask
1. Paul Kersey from Death Wish 1-5
Who else could it be? The pacifist turned punisher, Paul Kersey. He's killed dozens and dozens of punks and street toughs on both coasts. For my in depth look at the Death Wish series look here, here, and here.
Primary threat - Wildey
