The Best Movie Critic   +  review

Watching Hour Preview: The Last Dragon

Many cult classics can be boiled down to a few notable or shocking elements. The Last Dragon is no exception. To wit:

Berry Gordy, legendary asshole and Motown producer, responsible for the success of Stevie Wonder, the Jackson 5, Diana Ross and the Supremes, Smokey Robinson, Marvin Gaye, the Temptations, and countless other R&B luminaries, was flailing in the 80s. Motown was in decline and he needed a hit. What was the next step forward for R&B? According to Gordy, the step forward was a step Eastward, an ill-advised mash-up of black music and martial arts movies.

Thus The Last Dragon was born. Single-name 20-year-old black belt superstar Taimak plays “Bruce Leroy,” who must save his girlfriend Laura (single-name 26-year-old Prince protégé Vanity) and his neighborhood from the “Shogun of Harlem,” the subtly named Sho’nuff (Julius Carry), while searching out a new master to teach him the final secrets to martial arts that will allow him to obtain “The Glow.” The Glow might sound like an STD, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t. I don’t know, I haven’t seen the movie yet. Is there an STD that makes your hands glow all yellow? I can’t remember.

Oh yeah, did I mention that his little sister is Ruby Fucking Huxtable (Keshia Knight Pulliam)!?

Is it possible that Berry Gordy was once again ahead of his time? In the decades since The Last Dragon, the mash-up has become a viable art form in both music and movies. The Wu Tang Clan built an entire career copying Gordy’s model of kung fu infused urban music. On the other hand, the Wu Tang Clan is a group of insanely talented MCs and producers who used the gimmick to launch themselves to stardom and have proved their ability many times over since, and Berry Gordy was an aging record mogul blindly grasping for a final hit. You decide.

The best cult classics are more than the sum of their parts. Phantom of the Paradise is more than just a glam rock retelling of The Phantom of the Opera staring ‘the midget Elton John,’ Paul Williams. Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! Is more than ‘that movie about the girls with big boobs who drive muscle cars.’ I can’t promise that The Last Dragon is anything more than a Motown martial arts movie. In fact, I’ll wager it drowns under the weight of its own contrivance.

But seriously, who could ask for anything more than a Motown martial arts movie?

-Ben

The Watching Hour is a weekly film series at the Starz Film Center, highlighting new and old cult, genre, or otherwise bizarro movies. Quite simply, The Watching Hour is usually the best thing to do in Denver on a Friday or Saturday night. From Giallo to schlock, Blaxploitation to Aussiesploitation, zombies to martial arts to who-knows-what, and everywhere in between. This is good ol’ rock and roll cinema spectacle. Not to be missed. (See the schedule, buy tickets, get directions, etc. here.)